As long as you love me
by elf-princess-girl
Summary: In which Nasuada reflects on Murtagh and his hidden secrets and Arya proves why she is worthy of the title ‘best friend’


**Disclaimer – Don't own Eragon, Eldest or As long as you love me. It would be appreciated if you would drop the copyright infringement suits now, thanks.**

**Summary –In which Nasuada reflects on Murtagh and his hidden secrets and Arya proves why she is worthy of the title 'best friend'.**

_Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine  
I'm leavin' my life in your hands  
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind  
Risking it all in a glance  
_

Nasuada lounged back in her chair, black braids splaying out over the back. She let out a huge sigh and flung the papers in her hand across the room. Nothing made any sense anymore. None of it mattered anyway, it was pointless. Everything was pointless. It was pointless how her heart fluttered every time she saw him, how she felt faintly sick when she heard his name. Pointless how much she loved him, how everything he did was perfect. It was all pointless because she would never be allowed to see him again. Never, even if she begged for the rest of her life, it couldn't be done. Murtagh. Son of Morzan. Son of the worst traitor ever to have lived. And they all hated him for it. She could see it in their eyes, every time they spoke of him, every time they saw him, that hatred flared in their faces. They didn't see Murtagh, they saw Morzan. And it wasn't fair!

_And how you got me blind is still a mystery  
I can't get you out of my head  
Don't care what is written in your history  
As long as you're here with me_

He wasn't his father and they shouldn't be so blind as to think it! He had done nothing wrong. She didn't care, so why should the others. Even Eragon, who said he didn't care at all. Nasuada knew he did really. It was obvious in the nervous way he spoke of Murtagh and his complete reluctance to see the boy who saved him so many times. There was only her and she felt so alone. She was the only one who could see that he was just Murtagh. Anything he did or was, was all in the past. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was that he was here, he wanted to help didn't he!? So why wouldn't they let him!?

_What you did  
As long as you love me  
Who you are  
Where you're from  
Don't care what you did  
As long as you love me_

She didn't care if his father was the first of the Forsworn. She didn't care he grew up in Uru'baen with the king. She didn't care! All she cared about were those deep dark eyes that made her feel as though they would just swallow her up if she looked straight into them. All she cared about was his strong embrace that protected her from the whole world. All she cared about were his soft, gentle lips that tasted ever-so-slightly of the cakes she sent him up from the kitchens, pressed on hers. Nothing else mattered when she was with him. She loved him, and he loved her too, she was sure of it. Why should she care about anything else? What else could matter? __

Every little thing that you have said and done  
Feels like it's deep within me  
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run  
It seems like we're meant to be

He could run from the king and the Empire for the rest of his life but no matter what, she would be there at his side, she would run with him. She would follow him to the ends of the earth and beyond if it meant being able to spend the rest of her life with him. She would follow him into death just to have him at her side. And nobody understood. Nobody.

She'd seen Eragon stare after Arya in the same way she herself looked at Murtagh. She knew Eragon would do anything for Arya, just as she herself would for Murtagh. So why did he still feel that she was wrong, she was foolish, she didn't know the meaning of love, and he, even younger than her, was right. He knew everything. They were just the same.

Except that Murtagh loved her as much as she loved him. __

I don't care who you are  
Where you're from  
What you did  
As long as you love me 

_Who you are  
Where you're from  
Don't care what you did  
As long as you love me (yeah)_

I've tried to hide it so that no one knows  
But I guess it shows  
When you look into my eyes  
What you did and where you're comin from  
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby

She didn't even have to tell him. He just knew the moment he looked into her eyes. He knew how she felt. He had just swept her up into his arms and kissed her. And it was enough. She knew too.

She had to hide it from everyone else though. She knew how they would react. Forbidding her to see him. Looking at her strangely. Prejudice would be everywhere. Even her friends would do it, if only by accident. They'd talk about 'poor Nasuada who doesn't know what she's got herself into' behind her back and then pretend they supported her. She knew they would.

Most of them guessed anyway. Eragon certainly did.

She laughed harshly.

Probably recognised his own expression mirrored on her face.

Arya. She probably knew too, but the two women had been friends long enough to know when you didn't speak of something, even in private. Arya was sensible and compassionate enough to keep it out of everyone else's ears for the while. At least until they all understood that he wasn't evil.

_  
I don't care who you are  
Where you're from  
What you did  
As long as you love me _

_Who you are  
Where you're from  
Don't care what you did (yeah)  
As long as you love me _

_Who you are  
Where you're from  
What you did  
As long as you love me  
Who you are  
Where you're from  
As long as you love me  
Who you are  
As long as you love me  
_

Speak of the devil. Light footsteps sounded on the stone behind Nasuada. It could only be one of abut five people. Farica, her father, Eragon, Orik or Arya. They were the only ones allowed in without announcement.

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder as Arya's form appeared at the side of her. She stood for a moment in silence before smiling, a slow almost longing smile and leaning down to whisper softly in Nasuada's ear.

"We aren't our parents Nasuada. Nobody can make it so. It is not inevitable that one day we become them. And we don't have to like them or agree with them either. Trust me. There's just some people too thick headed to understand that. But as long as you do that's what matters."

And Nasuada knew that she understood even if nobody else did. She smiled back at Arya and nodded slightly. Some people were truly priceless.

But now maybe it wasn't enough. Now he'd betrayed them. She trusted him, she loved him, she almost died herself with the thought of him never coming back after the battle of Farthen Dur. Now she thought it might just have been better if he had died after all. It was more than a betrayal of the Varden, it was a betrayal of her. And it felt her heart would shatter into a million tiny pieces of fragile glass, because she knew,

_What you did (I don't care)  
As long as you love me_

She didn't care. She still loved him and if he loved her, after everything, that was enough. She didn't care one bit. His actions didn't change him. They didn't change anything. They would love each other forever, no matter what.


End file.
